Every heartbreak is unique unto itself but there are similarities that everyone needs to deal with
to get your bearings on your new situation and start to move on. Heartbreak is a loss. Loss of a way of life that we have come to know and perhaps a planned future. Whether short or long there will be pain attached to this change and it will not be easy.
When a relationship ends, we will need to feel as if we have some kind of control. If you are connected on social media, unfollow immediately. Any items around the house that bring you pain, put in a box. Remove any photos and put on a flash drive and put in the box. There may be a time to throw everything out and delete the photos but now is not the time. Allow yourself the time to heal and you may find that some of those items are worth keeping because they bring back fond memories.
Give yourself the necessary time to get over heartbreak
This is not going to be easy, but time does help to make heartbreak easier and clearer. You will have to be easy on yourself. Cliches are cliches for a reason, time does heal wounds. You will need time to grieve but focusing solely on the past will only make any movement forward much more difficult.
Find your happy place
Now is the time to regroup and pamper yourself. Find the small things that make you happy, like lunch with friends or reading a good book and indulging on yourself. Now is the time to create a daily meditation or workout schedule (maybe with a high energy playlist). A daily walk at a local park or drives to find the perfect ice cream. (or cheese, I can attest to how this can help!) When the breakup is new, it will be necessary to change your pattern of thought. Focusing on doing something that you enjoy will give your brain a break.
Focus on others
Find a need and help others. Find volunteering opportunities, would you rather spend your time with the older generation and gain their wisdom or volunteer at a local animal shelter. Maybe the local art museum needs help or festivals that use volunteers to make their events run smooth. This will allow you to meet new people and focus on others that could use your kindness.
Get a support system together
Ask for help, call your friends or family. Even though you may not feel like being around many people, isolation breeds depression. Force yourself to open up, it will help. If you would rather talk to a stranger, then find a professional that will be a good fit. Every single time I thought I had it under control and didn’t need to talk, I was always wrong. I have been surprised by how much better I felt when I finally did verbalize my feelings. Sometimes things are not real until spoken and things finally sink in
Create a nighttime routine
Find what works for you. If you enjoy baths, take a trip to Sephora and grab some good stuff! Get some aromatherapy and candles and chill. Maybe do some reading, put down the screens and pick up an actual book or magazine. If you enjoy teas, get some special ones to help you relax. All of these small efforts can help you create a new normal in a pleasant way.
Reflection will be the best way to assess where there were breakdowns. We need to be aware of those things for the future. At some point, we have to look at our flaws and how we can work on changing the things about ourselves that need work. Our focus is to become the healthiest that we can be and self-awareness is the skill to get us there.
Woe is me if we’re not careful turns into reality
Don’t you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow- Lost Stars
You will eventually start to visualize a new future, take the time to create a future that you really deserve and want. Open up to the possibilities and just what that may mean. Does it mean a move? Where would you like to go? Maybe you realize that now is the time to take a trip or take a class that you may have been putting off. Either way it’s up to you to imagine what your life could look like and create a game plan to get there.
We found some things that can help when you are feeling down or need a reason to smile!