First Date “Don’ts”
-Don’t be Negative – No one likes to listen to someone complain about their job or any of their problems that they may have since the other person doesn’t have any context. This will scare off many people and with good reason. We want to be with someone that is positive and enjoys life. If someone is complaining on a first date, they will think this is the main part of their personality and look for someone that is able to handle the normal challenges of life.
-Talk about an Ex
Talking about an ex can be very tricky when you are just getting to know someone and it is best to be avoided. If you are angry or bitter this will come across and be unattractive. If you blame the other person, they will wonder about your part in the breakup. This is the time to get to know the other person, not about your other relationships.
-Don’t Turn It Into an Interview
Lighten up, you are just getting to know them and you don’t want this date to feel like an interrogation. Don’t put so much pressure on the date as if “Could this be it? Are they the one?” Let the conversation flow naturally, you do not need to find out every detail about them in one date. Keep it light, dating should be fun! You are just trying to figure out if you enjoy their company and have some things in common.
-Try not to be insecure, we all are insecure about something and a first date is not the time to talk about them. Confidence is very attractive, whereas being insecure is not a trait that people are attracted to! If you find that you are insecure about how you look or any other aspect of your life, then you need to deal with that and take steps to feel better about the issues. Insecurities are something that you need to be very self-aware about, potential partners will not be able to help with this because it comes from within yourself.
First Date Do’s
-Be Fun and Playful…
Remind yourself that you are a great catch and anyone would be lucky to have you…
-Talk about the things you would like to do in the future…
-Talk about some fun events or activities that you have experienced …
The key is to enjoy yourself and be playful, forget the serious conversations, for now…plenty of time for that later!
Who Pays the Check when Dating?
This is an issue that has many different points of view and we are going to give the smartest way to handle this touchy subject.
When you first meet, (not a first date) the easiest way to deal with this is to meet for coffee or a drink. Most likely you will arrive at different times and will each pay for your own drink, eliminating this problem. By meeting for something simple you both can gauge whether there will actually be a” first date”.
First date etiquette is that usually, the person that asks is the person that pays. If a woman suggests Dutch, then you should be fine with that, but if a man suggests Dutch the reality is he may never get another date with her. I know that it gets confusing and men may say that “It is too expensive to pay all the time.” Then suggest coffee and skip the dinner. The reality is that women want to feel special and not just one of many dates. Women usually like the traditional roles of men and women when first dating and a lot of men feel very comfortable with this as well.
Many use texting to contact a woman but not to actually ask them out, they just text to hang out and let them know where they will be that evening. This may be considered non-dating but if girls want to be asked out, then that has to be the standard that they make for themselves. Don’t just go along with a behavior that you are not comfortable with, although if what you want is just a casual, “see you sometimes” kind of thing, well then go and hang out. I think it boils down to respect and how you would like to be treated.
After the first date then it should be split by who asks or suggests the date. No one person should be expected to pay each time you go out, but for the first date, (if you may want a 2nd) then the guy should pay. Women and girls want guys to be guys, this has nothing to do with power or who is in charge but it has to do with respect.
When a man can be a man, there is nothing that is more attractive and when women can be strong but allow the man to be a man, then she is very attractive to him also. Technology and tradition can go together just fine, you just have to set the ground rules and be honest.
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