Dating in your 40’s can definitely have its advantages. These dating tips will help you find success and hopefully enjoy it along the way!
The reality is that in your 40’s you are usually more established in your career and probably a bit wiser from being in longer term relationships. That is the knowledge that gives you insight that will help move you forward.
You are also probably bolder and know yourself better than when you were younger. This doesn’t mean that everyone has things figured out, but maybe we come to dating with more knowledge than when we were in our 20’s & 30’s.
Dating rules
Guess what? There are no rules, except the rules that you set for yourself. These dating tips are for anyone that wants to enjoy and not dread dating. Let’s talk about ways that you will be able to enjoy it.
Whatever standard that you set for yourself are the rules, period.
Do you want to date casually? Or would you rather find a more substantial relationship? Your choice, then set your expectations. Don’t worry if you don’t have it figured out yet, but your goal should be to make the best choices possible. Don’t worry about waiting 3 days to contact or listening to advice on how many days to wait until having sex.
Everyone is unique and your experience is yours alone. You figure out what works for you!
If you are a parent or would like to be, you will have specific things that you are looking for. And its important not to waste time with those that do not fit into what you really want.
When dating can we really enjoy it?
Or Is dating as horrible as you sometimes read about? Well it can be for sure. Mostly because of how many people you need to weed through to get to someone that you connect with. As for being ghosted or any of the other fun things that have sprung up with online dating, if that happens, good riddance!
That will save you time dealing with people that you want nothing to do with anyway!
Get ready to date
Being single in your 40’s means that you have most likely have had some experience with past relationships. This is why it is so important to make sure that you are ready to date.
Are you able to bring your best self into a new relationship?
It’s best if any negativity or anger from past relationships have been dealt with and put to rest. Remember that this is a red flag if the person that you are dating is dwelling on their past.
Do you have time and room in your life for someone? Put some time into deciding what you truly want in your next relationship. What values are the most important to you? Shared values are the key to a long term connection.
What habits are deal breakers? What insights about yourself can you work on to be healthier in your next relationship?
You have to be healthy to be able to attract a healthy person. You can’t expect someone else to bring happiness into your life. If you lack self-esteem or are unhappy with yourself and your situation, it’s not attractive to someone you’re newly dating.
Make sure that you spend the time on yourself to fix any negativity in your life so that you can move on.
You’ll never be happy with someone else until you’re happy by yourself
Dating Tips
It’s probably best to use a combination of different tools to meet new people. This way your odds will be better and you won’t have to rely on just one method.
It will be possible that the people that you meet with have kids. Decide what that means to you.
I think it is always best to keep any children out of the picture until there is a serious commitment. They do not need to invest or be part of your love life. Always make decisions based on the safety and protection of any children. All they need to know is that you are going out with friends. There are many reasons to shelter the kids so this should be taken seriously.
Becoming intimate before either of you have emotionally invested makes it more likely it will lead to a short term fling. That’s just the reality. It takes time to know someone and you need a base of communication and trust for something real to grow.
Spread the word
Tell your friends and family that you are looking. This may seem obvious, but people are busy and focused on their own lives so make sure to tell them! It may be helpful to tell them just “what” you are looking for. Be specific so that you can help them pinpoint people that may be a fit.
Be active
Whether that is joining a gym or a Meetup.com. Spend time at places that you enjoy, whether that’s museums, wine tastings, ball games etc. You are likely to meet people with the same interests. Make sure that if someone catches your eye, that you make eye contact and linger a bit. Men need to be sure that if they approach that you will be receptive.
Local magazines and restaurants usually host happy hours or have upcoming events that you may enjoy.
Look at your calendar, grab a friend and make some plans! The goal is to meet new people in person. This may also help your career if you plan to go to networking events.
Join a dating site
Visit some sites to see which could be a good fit. Where you live will make a difference, since some are suited for more populated areas. Some apps are more suited for casual dating (Tinder) and others for something more serious, such as E Harmony. But researching them will help you make the best choice.
If you join a site or app, take the time to get some good pictures taken. Make sure that most of them are pictures of you and not a group of people. Try to be interesting in your profile.
Many people say that they like to travel, instead talk about details and specifics. This will let someone know if your idea of travel is hiking in East Asia or laying on the beach reading in Jersey. Just an example.
If you read through some profiles, you will quickly see which ones are more engaging and which are unforgettable.
Don’t spend to much time texting without making a plan to meet in person, face to face. Meeting for coffee or a beer is the best way to gauge your interest and see if there is any attraction.
The biggest complaint from people on dating sites is that it is very time consuming.
Keep it light and easy. If you find yourself getting burned out, take a break and regroup. Your goal is to enjoy yourself.
Of course always make sure that you are meeting in a public place, driving yourself and never giving your personal info to anyone new. Also tell a friend where you are going and when you expect to return. Dating safety is very important!
Dating expectations
As we get older we most likely have more responsibilities. This can be work and family obligations. Trying to fit two busy schedules together will be difficult. If either has kids, well they will come first and their schedules can be crazy!
You can only do the best that you can, but you should temper expectations. Especially in the beginning of any relationship, you want to spend a lot of time together, but that is impossible if you have those type of responsibilities.
When you are dating someone, talk about their use of social media and posting pictures. I would not want anyone to post anything personal until there is a commitment.
You may not want everyone on Facebook knowing who you are dating especially since it may not last.
These dating tips will be helpful only if….
The dating experience will be what you make of it. If you go into it thinking that you will hate it, you will. Have the mindset that you will try your best to enjoy meeting new people. The less pressure and importance you put on every encounter the more you can appreciate it for what it is….an experience.
Being single in your 40’s it’s important to remember to set the standards! If someone falls short and does not treat you with respect or courtesy, don’t waste your time and move on. Plus always remember that being single is so much better than being in an unhappy relationship!
Always trust your instinct!
It’s important that you don’t talk yourself out of what your gut is telling you, listen!
Hold out for what you are looking for, be true to yourself and don’t settle.
What do you think?
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