Inspiring meaningful connections & fun, happy lives...


Join Our Newsletter


How to Turn a First Date into a Second

We have some tips to make your first date successful.   

First Date “Don’ts”


Most important is to not be negative, no one likes to listen to someone complain about their job or any of their problems that they may have since the other person doesn’t have any context.


This will scare off many people and with good reason. We want to be with someone that is positive and enjoys life. If someone is complaining on a first date, they will think this is the main part of their personality and look for someone that is able to handle the normal challenges of life.


Don’t Talk About Your Ex


Talking about an ex can be very tricky when you are just getting to know someone and it is best to be avoided. If you are angry or bitter this will come across and be unattractive.


If you blame the other person, they will wonder about your part in the breakup. This is the time to get to know the other person, not  the time to dwell on past relationships.


Don’t Turn It Into an Interview


Lighten up! You are just getting to know them and you don’t want this date to feel like an interrogation.  Don’t put so much pressure on the date as if  “Could this be it? Are they the one?”


Let the conversation flow naturally, you do not need to find out every detail about them in one date.


Keep it light, dating should be fun!


You are just trying to figure out if you enjoy their company and if you have some things in common


If a difficult topic comes up, always be honest but respectful.


I realize there are things that we all feel strongly about but there is no reason to get into any type of argument, just end the date if necessary.


Try not to be insecure


We all are insecure about something and a first date is not the time to talk about them. Confidence is very attractive, whereas being insecure is not a trait that people are attracted to!


If you find that you are insecure about how you look or any other aspect of your life, then you need to deal with that and take steps to feel better about those issues.


Insecurities are something that you need to be very self-aware about, potential partners will not be able to help with this because it comes from within yourself.


36 Questions that lead to love- Free download


First Date Do’s


Be Fun and Playful! Remind yourself that you are a great catch and anyone would be lucky to have you. Talk about the things you would like to do in the future & what you are passionate about.


Talking about some fun events or activities that you have experienced helps give insight into your personality and how you like to have fun.


The key is to enjoy yourself and be easygoing, forget the serious conversations, for now, there is plenty of time for that later!


First Date Ideas


Ideally the first “meeting” should be at a coffee shop or someplace that is very casual. This gives you the opportunity to see if there is enough interest in going on an actual date.


Hopefully you talked a little about the things that you both like so that is there is a date, that becomes a starting point.


If you decide to go on a date, the best choice will be some type of activity.  You can look for activities appropriate to the time of year and location. The reason for an activity is simple, it allows for easy conversation.


For example if you go to a movie, there is very little interaction. Dinner is good, but the pressure is on the conversation. An activity gives the opportunity for the action to be the ice breaker.


Ideas could be ice skating or skiing which is a sure fire way for some laughs! Visiting a farmers market in the spring or summer or an indoor market in the winter. Check for local festivals and tastings.


Vineyards have tastings or breweries which can be fun. But as you can see, its not about the money, many activities are free.


First date activities are great because, as your are “walking” or “tasting,” the conversation will flow so much easier. You can learn a lot about a person by these types of dates and it feels almost effortless.


Who Pays the Check when Dating?


This is an issue that has many different points of view and we are going to give the smartest way to handle this touchy subject.


When you first meet, (not a first date) the easiest way to deal with this is to meet for coffee or a drink. Most likely you will arrive at different times and you will each pay for your own drink, eliminating this problem.


By meeting for something simple you both can gauge whether there will actually be a” first date”.


First date etiquette is that usually, the person that asks is the person that pays.


If a woman suggests Dutch, then you should be fine with that, but if a man suggests Dutch the reality is he may never get another date with her.



I know that it gets confusing and men may say that “It is too expensive to pay all the time.”  Then suggest coffee and skip the dinner.


The reality is that women want to feel special and not just one of many dates. Women usually like the traditional roles of men and women when first dating and a lot of men feel very comfortable with this as well.


Many use texting to contact a woman but not to actually ask them out, they just text to hang out and let them know where they will be that evening. This may be considered non-dating but if girls want to be asked out, then that has to be the standard that they set for themselves.


Don’t just go along with a behavior that you are not comfortable with. Unless that is what you want a casual, “see you sometimes” kind of thing, well then go and hang out.


It boils down to respect and how you would like to be treated.


After the first date then it should be split by who asks or suggests the date. No one person should be expected to pay each time you go out. But for the first date, (if you want a 2nd) then the guy should pay.


Women and girls want guys to be guys, this has nothing to do with power or who is in charge but it has to do with respect.


When a man can be a man, there is nothing that is more attractive. Women can still be strong and allow a man to be a man.


Technology and tradition can go together just fine, you just have to set the ground rules and be honest. You set the expectations, they will either be fine with that or not. Don’t settle!

13 First Date Conversation Starters 

First Date Ideas

73 First Date Questions

Dating Safety Tips


Share this article

What do you think?

No Comments Yet.