Every heartbreak is unique unto itself but there are similarities that everyone will need to deal with
to get your bearings start to move on. Heartbreak is a loss. Loss of a way of life that we have come to know and perhaps a planned future. Whether your relationship was short or long there will be pain attached to this change and it will not be easy.
You will need to detach
When a relationship ends, we need to feel as if we have some kind of control. If you are connected on social media, unfollow immediately. Any items around the house that bring you pain, put in a box. Remove any photos and put on a flash drive and put in the box.
There may be a time to throw everything out and delete the photos but now is not the time. Allow yourself the time to heal and you may find that some of those items are worth keeping because they bring back fond memories.
It takes time to get over heartbreak
This is not going to be easy, but time does help to make heartbreak easier and clearer. You will have to be easy on yourself. Cliches are cliches for a reason, time does heal wounds.
You will need time to grieve but focusing solely on the past will only make any movement forward much more difficult.
Find your happy place
Now is the time to regroup and pamper yourself. Find the small things that make you happy, such as lunch with friends or reading a good book and indulging yourself.
Now is the time to create a daily meditation or workout schedule (maybe with a high energy playlist).
A daily walk at a local park or drives to find the perfect ice cream. (or cheese, I can attest to how this can help!) When the breakup is new, it will be necessary to change your pattern of thought. Focusing on doing something that you enjoy will give your brain a break.
Focus on others
Find a need and help others. Find volunteering opportunities, spend your time with the older generation and gain some wisdom or volunteer at a local animal shelter. Maybe the local art museum needs help or a local festival that uses volunteers to make their events run smooth.
This will allow you to meet new people and focus on others that could use some kindness.
Get a support system together
Ask for help, call your friends or family. Even though you may not feel like being around many people, isolation breeds depression. Force yourself to open up, it will help. If you would rather talk to a stranger, then find a professional that will be a good fit.
Every single time I thought I had it under control and didn’t need to talk, I was always wrong. I have been surprised by how much better I felt when I finally did verbalize my feelings. Sometimes things are not real until spoken and things finally sink in.
Create a nighttime routine
Find what works for you. If you enjoy baths, take a trip to Sephora and grab some good stuff! Get some aromatherapy and candles and chill. Maybe do some reading, put down the screens and pick up an actual book or magazine.
If you enjoy teas, get some special ones to help you relax. All of these small efforts can help you create a new normal in a pleasant way.
Reflection will be the best way to assess where there were breakdowns. We need to be aware of those things for the future.
At some point, we have to look at our flaws and how we can work on changing the things about ourselves that need work. Our focus is to become the healthiest that we can be and self-awareness is the skill to get us there.
Woe is me if we’re not careful turns into reality
Don’t you dare let our best memories bring you sorrow- Lost Stars
You will eventually start to visualize a new future, take the time to create a future that you really deserve and want. Open up to the possibilities and just what that may mean. Does it mean a move? Where would you like to go?
Maybe you realize that now is the time to take a trip or take a class that you may have been putting off. Either way it’s up to you to imagine what your life could look like and create a game plan to get there.
“The heart was made to be broken.” ―
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” ―
“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” ―
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.” ―
“Its ok to be sad. I’ve been trained to love my darkness” ―
“You can’t give your heart to a wild thing.” ―
“you’re an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry” ―
“I don’t think anyone can give you advice when you’ve got a broken heart.” ―
“While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait til it be digested, and then the amusement will dissipate the remains of it.” – Samuel Johnson
“I don’t know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every other part of my body is broken too.”-Terri Guillemets
We found some things that can help when you are feeling down or need a reason to smile! I love Mamma Mia and it never fails to make me smile.
The mug and throw help to reinforce positivity. We need reminders and wrapping yourself up in something cozy, does the trick. Zen and the art of happiness is very highly rated on Amazon with over 5,000 reviews!