Learning how to be flirty is the most effective way to let someone know that you are interested in them. Whether it is flirting over text or in person, the trick is to
give them the opportunity to MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
When you first flirt with someone, you are communicating to them that you wouldn’t mind if they approach you. That’s it! You are not ACTUALLY making the first move, just telling them that it is OK for them to..
If you want to be flirty there are some basic things to keep in mind, subtle but effective. Below we go through the basics that you need to know so that you can learn how to be flirty.
6 Steps how to be flirty
The first and most important step is eye contact, and not the quick look and look away type of thing either. You need to be more obvious than that so it’s clear!
Try using these tips
- Look at them, hold for 3 seconds and smile.
- Look away a second or two
- Look back and hold another 3 seconds.
This lets them know that it wasn’t a random glance and with a smile that shows it is an unmistakable show of interest.
You are just giving them the OK, to approach so that you can learn more about them. Holding eye contact is a known way to promote feelings of attraction.
Get creative and find a way to move closer to him or her. If you are at a gathering, find an open seat closer to them.
The same if you are at a restaurant or bar, find a bar stool that gives you better access to where they are standing or sitting.
Maybe someone that you know is standing closer to them so you could walk over to get closer and then move on to step 3…
Question or Compliment
Asking a question is the simplest and least intimidating way to start a conversation with someone. You could ask about a menu or drink item that looks interesting or maybe how they know the host (if you are at a party.)
You could ask if they know a nice place for live music or if they know a place with great desserts. Come up with something that fits the situation.
The idea is to find something that you have in common that you can talk about.
Another way to start a conversation is by giving an honest compliment. Find something unique about them, Is there something that they are wearing that catches your eye?
Or maybe it’s their style or personality that really shows on the dance floor. Have the compliment be unique only to THEM. You want to notice something that is special about them..
When you need conversation starters and questions to ask, we have hundreds for you to choose from. Everything from when a couple is on a first date to a fun date night when you are married.
This step goes along with step 3.
When you are talking to someone, body language is so important. Try to keep your body and feet turned toward them.
Keeping your arms open and not crossed shows that you are focused on this conversation.
All of these tips make sense when you think about it. If you are open to talking and learning about someone, then your body language should also show that.
Think about a time when you were uncomfortable with someone, likely your arms were crossed and you were turned away from them without having eye contact.
This is the time to not be focused and looking at your phone, but making them feel important.
When you are having a conversation with someone, one of the most attractive and magnetic traits of a charismatic person is playfulness.
If your conversation is going well, then being a little playful and having a fun banter is the perfect way to flirt.
This can include joking a little while you lightly touch their arm or their back for a second or two. You can also lean in and lightly bump their arm with yours as you are talking when being playful.
These are the little flirty acts that are not too intimate or overt, but they show that you are enjoying their company while making it clear that you are interested in them.
The idea with joking is to be light and not too sarcastic and definitely NOT crude. You don’t want to go too far and maybe turn them off.
Suggest a next step
Ask for their number or to connect with them on social media. Maybe suggest an upcoming event that you would like to go to and ask them to go with you or meet you there.
Asking them to go to something the following weekend is easy especially when you already have something in mind.
The goal is to find a reason to reconnect at some time in the near future.
Signs to know whether they are or are not interested
You want to make sure that you are reading the signals that they are giving off.
Are they engaged and smiling? Are they laughing and trying to make conversation? Is there body language telling you that they are interested?
Are they facing you and making eye contact?
If they are not showing interest, then you should move on. You should not have to convince someone to be interested. Listen and pay attention!
How to be flirty over text
We have lots of examples (over 90) of what to say in our article, How to flirt over text.
How to be flirty with a guy
If you don’t know him that well, then smiling and looking approachable is the way to go. If you are dating or in a relationship, the key is to be subtly suggestive.
This is fairly easy if you know him. Use flirty texts, pictures and cute and flirty questions that will make him smile and blush.
You can create a romantic date night and surprise him! We help you plan a romantic night at home that is really special.
How to flirt over text with a girl
As with all this advice, it will all depend on how well you know this person. Do not be too flirty when you don’t know them very well.
If something can be misunderstood, it will be more so over text. Text doesn’t have tone or context so be careful! We go into detail in our “how to flirt over text” article.
How to flirt with a girl
Girls more often than not want the guy to make the first move by making an effort to come closer or to find a reason to talk.
Hopefully you have received a smile showing you that you were noticed and that they are open to learning more about you.
Find open ended questions to ask or make an observation that fits the situation. There is no reason to get nervous or think about it too much. If she is interested she will respond and you will be able to chat further.
You should try to find a commonality between you and her, such as something that you both like or if you are at a party, finding out what foods she may have brought etc.
Remember that practice makes perfect, just follow the simple steps!
- Smile & make eye contact
- Find a reason to physically move closer.
- Ask open ended questions or make an observation.
- Ask for her number or connect on social media.
How to respond to a flirty compliment over text
How you respond will depend on your relationship.
When you are in the beginning stages of getting to know someone, you should focus on getting to know them FIRST.
Being sexy and sarcastic over text can easily be taken the wrong way, especially when you don’t really know them yet.
Don’t be too flirty too fast! You may get a response that is totally different than what you intended.
When you are dating or in a relationship, then you should be able to create a playful banter. You can further the conversation with some fun insinuations that are sure to make him or her smile.
How to flirt online
We have lots of flirty texts to get you started with flirting online or using flirty texts when you can’t be together. As mentioned before, when you are flirting by text and online, you need to be careful.
You have probably had dates that got too flirty before you even met and that is often huge turn-off.
But after you know them and can add their personality to the texts, you are able to be a lot freer in what you say.
Never say something online that you would NOT say in person!
When you know them better and know how they will probably respond to your flirty texts then you can be bolder and flirtier.
The type of flirty compliments that you give, is completely dependent upon where you are in your relationship.
You never want to give a compliment that is too personal to someone that you have just met.
When you first meet someone complimenting them about something, such as what they are wearing, can be a good ice breaker.
It may be a little easier to move the conversation forward by making a unique observation vs telling them that they have “beautiful eyes,” for example.
If you are in a relationship with someone then you can be more intimate with your flirty compliments.
You could try “You looked so hot last night,” or “I ‘m looking forward to seeing you later, I just can’t stop thinking about you.”
Check out our cute & flirty texts to send to get you inspired
How do you become a flirty person?
Being friendly and approachable is a very attractive quality. When you are having fun and a good time, others will be naturally drawn to you.
Remember to smile at someone that you would like to know better, this gives them the “ok” to approach or gives you the “ok” to move closer and talk to them.
How can I flirt naturally?
When you are enjoying yourself, no matter what you are doing, people take notice. We are the most attractive when we are smiling.
When you turn your attention to someone that you are interested in, smile and make eye contact. Be approachable and follow the 6 simple steps above!
The best way to flirt naturally is by asking questions. Whether online or when you are on a date asking fun questions allows you to flirt in a cute way.
Conclusion- How to be flirty
When you are trying to be flirty, just remember the simple rules that we have listed because they work.
Holding eye contact is the spark of attraction, you feel connected at that moment. It’s powerful and it works.
Learning how to flirt becomes easier the more that you practice. Both guys and girls tend to put too much pressure on themselves.
Keep it light and friendly.
Everyone wants to feel special so if you are flirting with everyone, then they will not take you very seriously.
It’s like a dance between two people, neither one should come on too strong.
If you are being friendly and they are not giving or showing interest, take the hint and find someone that WILL show interest and be friendly back. Good luck and have fun!