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How to Text a Girl & 7 Texts that Push Her Away

 Learn 7 tips on how to text a girl so that you get the results that you want. Equally as important is knowing what texts NOT to send that will push her away.   


Texting is such a unique way to communicate which is why we want to make sure to avoid any of the most common texting mistakes.


Without tone, body language and in-person charm, keeping someone interested by texting alone takes some skill. Ideally text is just one tool in the toolbox.


Texting is best used for initial contact and quick updates. Adding phone calls and talking in person creates the best chance for success. 


After you first make contact, your goal should be to get to an in person meeting as soon as possible.


How to text a girl


If you want to create a spark, you need to find things that you have in common. The goal is to find the best and quickest ways to find out what those things are.


Below we list tips on how to text a girl  to help you to have successful conversations. Remember you do not want to text very long before you ask her out or talk on the phone, you want to move things forward.


How to Start a Conversation Over Text (that Can’t be Ignored)


  1. Be positive & light


Make sure your texts are positive, light or playful. You want to bring a smile to her face. 


One trick is to read your text out loud to make sure that it sounds right and makes you smile. It’s easier to catch any mistakes when you read it out loud.


We all deal with frustrations and aggravations throughout the day, so make sure you are the bright spot!


You want it to be pleasant when she hears from you, so keeping is light and playful is perfect.


tips on how to text a girl


  1. Use a hook


This is a great way to keep them curious, sort of like a cliffhanger. You could text something like  “You won’t believe what my boss just said! I have to tell you…”


Or “I just did the most embarrassing thing today, why do these things always happen to me?” and wait for a reply.


You are just piquing their interest with the beginning of a story. They will have to get back to you to find out what happened. 


Think about all the ways that you can create “interest or curiosity” and press send!


  1. Send memes & videos


You don’t always have to send texts obviously. Most love to get a cute meme or video showing  something that you have come across and found funny, cute or interesting.


Using a meme or video when texting a girl is a fun way to share something that resonates with you. It’s a simple way to communicate that we all enjoy once and a while.


  1. Suggest plans


Decide on what you are going to say before you ask her to do something. Do not text “Do you want to hang out?”


It would be much better to say “I’ve been wanting to check out this new pub, How would you like to go with me on Saturday?


Be specific! Suggest a place, then you could add, “How does Friday at 8 sound?” or “I know a place that has great Mojitos, Would you like to check it out with me over the weekend?”


Women like when men are decisive, that means that they have a place and time in mind when they ask. If you say “I don’t care where we go” it sounds wishy washy, so make a plan.


 You can always negotiate from there. This is why asking open ended questions will help you to pinpoint a place that she will  probably like.


  1. Ask open ended questions


Asking questions is a fast and fun way to get to know someone. Try to treat this more as a game than an interrogation (which no one enjoys!) 


We have 1000’s of questions to be used at many different times in your relationship. If you want to find more things in common and what her passions are, then asking questions is the way to go.


80 Conversation Starters for Texting that Spark Connections

130+ Ice breaker Questions & Texts to have Amazing Conversations


  1. Follow their lead


Watch how they are texting. Try not to write long texts if they are only texting quick updates. If they text throughout the day, then mirror that back.


If they only text a few times, then follow their lead. Pay attention to what they like and enjoy sending you. This will help you to stay on pace with her texting style, until you can spend more time in person.


Remember that texting is only one tool. Move on to meeting and talking in person because texting can only take you so far!


  1. Stick to the topic


In a normal conversation it is easy to jump all over the place but when you are texting, not so much.


 It’s a lot harder to follow if you are jumping from one topic to another. If you really want to talk and catch up, then you should talk in person or over the phone.


When you are texting you should stick to the point.


6 Texts that Push Her Away


Below are common questions that guys ask and what texts will push her away.


How do you keep a girl interested while texting?


How do you get her to want you? What are some ways to spark connection?


These are all the top questions when trying to create the all important sparks that start a relationship.


 Make sure that you use the tips in this article. They will really help you to keep her interested while you are texting.


What should I text a girl to start a conversation?


Do not start with hi or just hello! I mean, where do you really go from there other than a one word “hi” or “hello”  in return.


The goal is to find a way to connect and relate to each other so that you become interested in learning more about each other. 


Be curious, playful and light. Use our “hooks” that we wrote about above to get her interested in talking further.


How to text a girl without being boring?


First check out all of our suggestions to help you have a fun conversation that sparks connections. Pay careful attention to what you text, read it out loud.


 If you wouldn’t say it in person, then do not say it in a text. 


How do you get a girl to text you first?


To answer this question, it really depends upon where you are in the relationship. You may just have to remind her to respond or take an action to get the ball rolling.


If she works in public or you know where she likes to spend some time, you may have to “accidentally” find a way to cross paths.


Other ways to spark a new conversation would be to simply text her and just say “I had a nice time the other night” or “I was just thinking of you, have a good day.”


Alternatively you could “like” a photo or something that she shares on social media if you are connected to her.


These simple ways to touch base are to remind her that you would like to keep in touch.


How to not push her away with these 6 texting mistakes


Following these 6 tips are very helpful in knowing what NOT to text or say that can stop the conversation cold.


It is so easy to be misunderstood when you are texting, so be extra careful to stay away from these texting mistakes.


texting a girl


  1. One word texts


Don’t  just say“hi” or “hello” without anything after. You have to ask open ended questions so that you give them a chance to answer. 


It’s such a bad way to start a conversation that often you will get a sarcastic one word text back. Of course you can’t hear the sarcasm…but trust us, it is there!


Also if you are just getting to know her, do not start a conversation with “hello beautiful” or something similar.


 It’s too early and comes off as if you are a player. Most women will not feel special because it was given so easily and so early.


  1. She is not an afterthought


Don’t expect her to drop everything and fit you at the last minute. If she likes you and thinks that there is potential, she will be turned off if you don’t make time for her. 


Make plans and keep your word. Do not ask her to hang out unless you want her to think of you as her friend only. 


  1. Give her time


So you just texted her and she hasn’t texted back yet…so you text again and say “not in the mood to talk?” or “busy?”




People have a life, and yes, they are busy. This is annoying and needy. Ideally you will get a response within a few hours, but make sure you give time to respond.


 In the beginning always take a breath and don’t text back immediately.


If you don’t hear back that day, then you can text the next day with a follow up. If someone doesn’t get back to you after you text twice over the span of two days, take the hint and stop texting.


 If she wants to talk, she will text you. 


  1. Do not be too intimate


In the beginning, your job is to spark interest. The best way is to talk about interesting things. Try cooking a new recipe or going on a fun day trip and doing some hiking.


You want to talk about the things that you are interested in and have done lately. This way she will get to know more about your personality and the things that you enjoy doing also.


Never be too intimate in your texts or photos. This is a huge turnoff for anyone that you hope to really get to know. It says clearly, I want only sex.


Compliments are great but you cannot overdo it especially when you are texting. You want to give an honest compliment after you get to know them, you never want it to be only on their looks..


  1. Never Push


If she tells you she is busy or can’t talk or get together right now, never push. Always respect her and value her time.


 If you don’t and make snide comments such as “Is that because you’re busy with another guy?”  or “Sure, you probably don’t want to really talk to me.” 


This comes off as very needy. Try saying, “OK,” hope to talk soon or “I’ll text you next week to get together.” 


  1. Never text when impaired


Texting is challenging enough without doing it when you have been drinking. Always avoid so you don’t have to explain and/or apologize later. It’s a very bad look.


Conclusion “How to text a girl”


We have lots of tips on how to start and create great conversations over text for her and him. Learn how to flirt and text a girl or what you need to watch for when your guy texts you. 


90+ Cute Flirty Texts to Make Him/Her Smile & Blush

How to be Flirty- 6 Successful Ways to Flirt that Gets Results


How to Know if a Guy Likes you Through Texting (14 Texts to Watch for)

How to Flirt over Text & Texting Mistakes to Avoid


65 Good Night Texts for Her & Him (So they think of you all night long!)

Cute Good Morning Texts to Spark Emotional Connection

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