Asking the right relationship questions will help you find the answers to the most important things that make and keep your relationship strong.
Every person enters into a relationship with a history and expectations. We need to have a way to “check-in” with each other to make sure that we are on the same page.
A way to tell if we are progressing in the way that is comfortable to both of you. It can make anyone a little nervous to talk about these subjects which is why asking questions makes it so much easier.
Often we have different ideas of what we expect and where we think we are going in our relationships. We may have experienced this before in other relationships.
Finding out what the other person is thinking will help make sure that we don’t make the same mistakes again.
As with all of our lists, choose the relationship questions that fit your specific situation. Some questions are for when you are getting to know each other, but many will before when you are more serious and deciding if you should move forward.
Use our relationship questions to find out revealing and eye opening insights into your partner.
What are some relationship questions?
- What was your longest relationship?
- Have you ever cheated in a relationship?
- What do you consider cheating? Online flirting, a specific sexual act?
- How would your ex’s describe you?
- How did your relationships end?
- What did you think the first time that you met me?
- What do you think makes us a good couple?
- In what way do you think we are different?
- What things do you think we have in common?
- What is a favorite memory that you have of us?
- Ask me anything!
- Are you able to relax?
- What is your favorite way to relax?
- What is something that we should work on as a couple?
- Tell me something that I don’t know about you
- Do you ever feel uncomfortable being affectionate in public?
- When do you miss me most?
- Do you get more upset when we argue or when we are silent with each other?
- What do I do that embarrasses you?
- What chores do you like to do around the house or apt?
- What chores do you hate enough to pay someone else to do?
- Who are you the closest to in your family?
- What are your favorite memories of your mother?
- What are your favorite memories of your father?
- If I had a dream of becoming an artist, singer, sports player or writer, etc. what would your response be?
- Would you be more realistic, supportive or give advice to pursue those dreams as a hobby?
- What is the ideal amount of date nights? A week, a month?
- What do you like to do on date nights?
- Do you enjoy planning couples getaways?
Deep relationship questions
- How often would you like to get away as a couple?
- What are your favorite ways to communicate when we can’t be together? Phone, text or email?
- How often are you stressed?
- How do you deal with stress? Eating, drinking, snapping, withdrawing?
- Do you have a sexual fantasy that you would like to try?
- How often would you like to have sex in a normal week?
- What does your life look like in 5 years?
- What does your career look like in 10 years?
- What amount of money would it take to make you feel successful?
- Would you like to spend more time being alone or with friends?
- What social issues do you feel the most passionate about?
- What do you think about politics and where on the spectrum do you fall?
- How do you cheer someone up that is sad or upset?
- Who do you feel responsible for?
- Do you feel respected at home and at work?
- When you are upset, what is the best way to make you feel better?
- Describe your perfect retirement?
- Are you risk averse or do you think that a certain amount of risk is necessary to be successful?
- What was the most adventurous thing that you have ever done?
- Would you rather make a plan or do you like to be more spontaneous?
50. Do you believe that things happen for a reason or are more random?
- What are your thoughts on religion?
- Do you want religion to be a part of your life moving forward?
- Who do you look to as having a successful marriage?
What are good couples questions?
- In your family, who has been married the longest?
- Do you think that a couple should have both separate and combined bank accounts or just combined?
- Are you a spender or a saver or do you fall somewhere in the middle?
- What do you think is unforgivable in a relationship?
- What are your deal breakers in a relationship?
- What are your greatest fears? In life, future and career.
- What do you enjoy in your life that gives you energy?
- Do you make decisions often based on facts and logic or gut feelings?
- Did you have a happy childhood?
- Would you change anything about the way that you were raised?
- When was the last time that you laughed so hard that you almost cried?
- If you close your eyes and think of something that brings you joy, what do you see?
- Do you feel guilty about anything right now?
- Have you changed anything about yourself for me?
- When was the last time that you were jealous?
- Do you think that you would make a good mother or father? Or Do you think that you ARE a good mother or father?
- What do you feel that you are the most grateful for?
- What is your greatest accomplishment so far?
- What is something in your life that you would like to share with me?
- Do you feel that I hear you when you are talking about things that are important to you?
- When was the last time that you cried?
- What do I do that drives you crazy?
Serious relationship questions
- Who do you like to spend time with in my family?
- Who do you like the least of my family or friends?
- What do you think is my worst habit?
- What do you think is your worst habit?
- Do you think that we communicate well? What could we change?
- What do you think was the most romantic thing that I have done for you?
- Do you have a problem saying that you are sorry?
18 Relationship Questions to ask yourself
Am I in a good place to be in a relationship?
Let’s face it, before we can be in a healthy relationship, we have to be healthy on our own first. Some questions to ask ourselves will help to clarify where we need to focus.
- Am I giving and kind?
- Am I able to trust?
- Am I secure or insecure in a relationship?
- Am I able to commit to a relationship?
- Why do I want to be in a relationship?
If we feel that we need to be in a relationship rather than want to be in one. Its not healthy to need another person to feel whole.
We also can’t look to a relationship to “be happy.” We shouldn’t need validation from a partner to feel complete.
It’s been said a million times, happiness is not found “out there” but “within ourselves.”
What am I most attracted to?
This question can help you focus on what it is exactly you are attracted to about your partner. Is it the qualities that are important for a long term relationship such as their character and values?
Or maybe it’s more superficial and lacking much substance.
Being objective can help you to see what you are most drawn to and if it has the building blocks for a strong relationship.
Do they have the qualities and values that I admire?
When all is said and done you both need to be on the same page if you are to move forward in a healthy way.
- Do they treat you with respect?
- Do they respect your opinion?
- Are they kind?
- How important is family to them?
- What do they want their life to look like in 5-10 years?
- Have they earned your trust by their actions?
- Do they want you to reach your goals?
- Are you able to be yourself?
Asking relationship questions can help you to answer these important questions in a fun way.
As a couple, are you committed to finding a solution to problems?
- How do you communicate?
In every relationship there are disagreements and frustrations, which is normal. First, the positives have to far outweigh the negatives in ANY relationship.
Second the commitment has to be there to solve problems. When things get heated, it’s a good idea to walk away and cool off. But that doesn’t solve anything, so you need to come back to try to find a solution or an understanding.
If nothing is ever dealt with it will just build up and be tacked on to the next disagreement. Couples need to be understood and heard.
If no one wants to listen and put the effort into a relationship, the relationship will not survive the long term.
The goal is to give all relationships the best chance of lasting by communicating often and staying connected.
What are some deep questions to ask?
Relationship questions to ask a guy
Relationship questions to ask a girl
Relationship questions to ask your boyfriend
Conclusion Relationship questions to ask
We have 1000’s of questions to ask to get to know someone better and stay connected. Everything from deep and controversial relationship questions to fun and flirty questions.
Questions can make a game out of learning insightful answers about what you expect and where your relationship is going, so have fun!