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Ending a relationship is never an enjoyable task, but here I’ll be giving you some advice on how to let someone down easy.
Whether it’s been a few years or just a few weeks, being the one to end a relationship puts a lot of pressure on you.
How to Let Someone Down Easy
This is especially difficult if the other person in the relationship isn’t ready or expecting it to end anytime soon.
Especially as someone who has recently gotten out of a long-term relationship, I will be giving some of my best advise for “how to let someone down easy.”
That is NOT to say that it will be the easiest for you, and not absolutely suck.
This advice though is more so for situations when you know you will be the one to end something, and maybe they haven’t necessarily done something excessively wrong, but you know it is for the best.
If there was serious problems in the relationship and direct causes for the breakup, these bits of advice might not be the most relevant to you.
BUT if you are in the situation where you plan on ending something relatively amicably, I’ve got you.
Here are a few bits of advise on how to let someone down easy.
How do you reject someone nicely?
When we are talking more about a more casual rejection, rather than a serious end of a relationship, you might be going over the question of, “how do you reject someone nicely?”.
I bet you also have friends who have gone through this, but I can be your internet friend who has gone through this situation many times lol.
SO without further adieu, lets learn how to reject someone nicely.
When you are in the dating pool, or even just regularly get approached, its important to learn how to reject someone nicely early on.
If the other person has been respectful, but you just aren’t feeling it or you guys don’t have the chemistry, then its time to let them down easy.
Recognize your feelings.
Sometimes it is difficult to find out if you are truly interested in someone. It could take weeks, even months to determine if this is someone you want to be with and spend your energy on.
First dates aren’t always indicative on how it is going to go, so you want to think about what you like, dislike and feel for the future.
When you’ve figured this out, and the situation between the two of you is still pretty casual it is best to tell them ASAP. This is the next step:
Make your decision, stick with it, and do it ASAP.
The other person could be feeling a completely different way and might have more serious ideas about the two of you.
I think the biggest place where people can get their feelings hurt is when you wait to long to determine if you are interested in someone, and keep putting it off.
If you take anything out of this situation it is this… LISTEN TO YOUR GUT.
You know yourself. Don’t wait and continue something if it’s not interesting to you or you don’t feel that spark.
End it as SOON as you recognize that. Being clear and open about your feelings is integral into making the process smoother for both of you.
Start on a good note, but don’t beat around the bush.
When going into something like this, take some moments to be honest with the other person, bring up some positives in the relationship/situationship, but be clear about your decision and what you want.
Don’t apologize.
I am someone prone to apologizing constantly, even about things I don’t need to be sorry about.
Try not to make this a part of a break-up as well. Recognize that you feel the way you do, and its okay!
It’s completely valid, and while it might not be enjoyable, it is YOUR decision.
Avoid the typicals.
You know them, the “it’s not you its me” BS. While these cliches are obviously all based on real situations, it can make it a bit worse on the other person to do that.
This goes back to just being clear about your feelings and intentions.
While these tips generally can be used in an all-around situation, it’s important to separate how to let someone down easy in person or through text.
They require some specificities that the other doesn’t have, and as you probably know, it is much harder to let someone down in person.
How do you let someone down easy in person?
Now in the digital age a lot of people get used to rejecting people or letting them down easy over the phone.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of times that might not be the most appropriate or fair thing to do. So this is strictly about the question of “how do you let someone down easy in person”.
Figure out the reasons why you want to end it.
Like I’ve mentioned before, make sure you are being honest with yourself on the reasons you want to end this, and maybe even write them down.
This can be helpful to get the main ideas down, even though it won’t go exactly like what you have prepared.
Determine how you want it go and where you’d like to do it.
Determining how you want it to go is likely going to be a bit variable. While you plan, be honest, and figure out the reasons you want to end it, it can always change when you meet up with someone.
What you can plan for though is where you want it to happen. It’s often not the best decision to do it out in public, like at a restaurant.
The more private, the better. BUT you might not want it to be at a place like your home, where you aren’t able to leave it might make it more difficult.
Having a neutral location, maybe a park or going on a walk could be helpful, but if it is in public make sure it is still relatively private.
Recognize the realities.
It might not go exactly the way you would like. Unlike ending something over the phone or text, preparing a paper or text isn’t going to the be very helpful for you.
The things that you want to say might change a little bit, and it won’t be polished or completely put together, and that is okay.
(If you want to and its appropriate) Bring up what you appreciated about the relationship.
This might not be appropriate for some relationships, especially if the other person has done something to wrong you, or vise versa.
Sometimes it can be helpful to say along the lines of “I really enjoyed spending my time with you”.
But if you are doing this, remember not to lead them on.
Complimenting can be a slippery slope, but again if there are outside issues like being too busy, or things along that line, but you really liked them, it might help to mention.
Be honest with them on how you are feeling, even if it is difficult.
This is the hard part. As much as you might prepare and write things down beforehand, it will likely be coming from your heart in that moment.
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to keep the main ideas of why you are making this decision and being completely honest.
In person you can be a lot more likely to be extra nice which can result in mixed feelings.
Be clear and concise about why you are bringing this up. This goes into the next step.
Don’t waste their time.
In person especially you might end up rambling (which is so normal!) but make sure you aren’t just avoiding the inevitable and ending it.
I know it can be really difficult, but if you are intending on ending this relatively amicably, make sure you aren’t gushing your love for them and then breaking it off.
…That will likely result in some whiplash (fairly!).
Use “I” Statements.
This is another great tip! When you are the one ending something, and you are trying to express your feelings, “I” statements are you best friend.
Putting a lot of blame on the other person might not go the best for ending it in person, and if your intention is to let someone down easily, using “I” statements is essential.
Using these phrases is helpful so you don’t make assumptions about what the other person is feeling.
Make it clear what you want from the future.
Ugh this part. Once the break-up or ending of the situationship has happened, you have to determine your next steps.
A lot of people end a relationship and continue to be friends, especially if it was a more casual situation.
Other times that just won’t happen for your personalities. Be honest, use those “I” statements about what you think will be the best for you in this situation.
Listen!
Throughout the conversation likely the other person is going to interject and it will be less like a formula of what will happen.
It is important though to recognize that they have a right to express their feelings as well, especially about what they want in the future now that the decision has been made.
If you want to stay friends, but they think it will be too difficult for them, you have to respect that, and vice versa, if they want to stay friends, but you aren’t interested in that make it clear.
Hopefully this will help answer your questions of “how do you let someone down easy in person?”.
How do you politely reject someone over text?
Here is where it gets a big more tricky. To politely reject someone over text is seemingly only appropriate in certain situations.
It’s best not to reject someone over text when you’ve been in a long-term committed relationship with someone. That could easily go very poorly and involve a lot of resent on the other person.
Of course, everyone’s situation is different, and some people DON’T necessarily deserve to get a full in-person discussion.
But… for this scenario, I am specifically discussing a situation where you have likely have been casually dating someone for a bit, it’s not serious, but you don’t think it is going to go anywhere.
In my personal opinion, I think this is a completely reasonable way to end something like a situation-ship.
Again, I would tread very carefully (and wouldn’t recommend) doing this if you are in anything serious what-so-ever! So here are my best tips for : How do you politely reject someone over text?
Similar to the other tips above, get all your thoughts out on why you want to end this.
Your notes app or own notebook could be your best friend for this. When you are in person, you don’t have the chance to read off a script and say things exactly as clear or eloquently you are able to via text.
So the key to understanding how you politely reject someone through text is taking steps to prepare.
Making some lists about why you want to end it, and how you came to this decision can be helpful.
Pre-writing is the best thing about ending something through a text. Figure out exactly the points you want to mention, and you are able to without getting stressed like you could in person.
Write out some of the best parts of the situationship.
If it was pretty good overall, and you enjoyed your time with this person, maybe take a sentence or two to talk about some things you enjoyed about the relationship or the person.
Give them some warning.
With text it can be really difficult to find the best time to do something. If you know their schedule it is likely better to send something out of working hours, when you know they might have some down time.
This could be done by scoping out what they are doing that day, maybe asking “hey, what are you up to right now?” and determining if this will be the best time.
Be succinct and VERY clear.
Be honest about what you want and don’t make the messages too long.
Obviously you don’t know what they will respond, but as long as you cover all of your bases about why you want to end this, and give your feelings on the situation, it should be okay.
You likely won’t have too much arguing to happen over text, and it will probably be just yours and maybe a few others.
But if you are doing it over text, remember to be careful and give your honest opinion.
And remember, this may only be appropriate in very casual relationships, otherwise you can really be causing a lot of hurt on the other side.
Conclusion: How to let someone down easy
So I hope you guys take some of these tips and implement them if you are going through ending a relationship, situationship, or just an unwelcome advance.
Stay safe out there and protect yourselves! You deserve the best and you shouldn’t wait for someone to be the person you want them to be.
Make sure you are clear in your intentions and keep up your confidence… it’ll all work out!
P.S. Ghosting is not recommended when you are in a relationship! Obviously casually dating can be a different situation, but just be mindful 🙂
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