Whether in person or over text, starting a conversation with a guy or girl doesn’t have to be nerve wracking. Follow these tips, step by step to start a conversation and keep it going!
How to start a conversation
The first step should always be curiosity. Curiosity in the person that you are talking with, is one of the keys. The second step is to be prepared with some easy questions and ice breakers.
Remember these three very important facts when having a chat with someone.
- People generally love when someone shows interest in them
- Many love talking about themselves
- You will be thought of as a great conversationalist by asking them questions and taking the time to listen.
This is how you keep a conversation flowing. By listening and using something that they mention as next being an effortless way to keep the conversation flowing.
Good conversations are always give and take. They are similar to a ping pong match in that you offer an invitation to add something to the conversation before passing it back. It becomes easier the more you practice.
When you want to get better at any skill, practice can make it so much easier.
As the saying goes “Luck is when practice meets opportunity.”
Often we hear stories of a business that makes a key connection with someone that helps them to a greater success. Or it could be meeting someone special and that relationship becomes a lasting love.
Being open and prepared will help you create these opportunities!
Having effortless conversations are easy once you are mindful of your surroundings and invite the other person to continue by asking open ended questions.
Topics to start a conversation
These conversation starters are something that most people will have an opinion on. Who doesn’t like to talk about food or travel? Probably not many people, so these are good universal topics.
- Any exciting side hustles or projects that you may be working on
- New restaurants or notable bars or breweries
- Talk about upcoming trips or favorite travel destination
- Any inspirational podcasts or bands that you are enjoying right now
- Something interesting that happened to you recently
- Any live events that you have enjoyed or are planning on attending
Avoid these conversation dead ends
Examples of some bad ways to start a conversation would be to ask a question such as “how are you today?” or “Looks like rain” or the dreaded “hi.”
Any questions that you can answer with a yes, no or yeah is NOT a good conversation starter! Most people don’t even think before they answer “fine” to “how are you today?”
To salvage a conversation from these terrible starters, you would need to be a little clever. Saying something such as “Sorry, I wanted to get your attention and that was the first thing that popped into my head.”
That simple save could get him or her to smile and say something that could move the conversation forward.
It’s easier to have things to talk about if you are doing some interesting things, so…
Spending time on yourself is one of the best things that you can do for yourself.. By having hobbies or passions, you will naturally have things that you enjoy talking about.
The people that are passionate about something become magnets for those around them. Think about the people that you enjoy talking with the most, often it’s because they have a passion or joy about something in their life.
When you have something exciting in your life, you will bring an energy and life to your conversations without even trying.
How to start a conversation over text
When we meet someone new, we often wonder how to start a conversation over text because it is painless. Texting is an easy way to break the ice or keep connections strong when in a relationship. Follow these 7 Rules for success.
All the text phrases and rules work for both men and women. Just tweak to make it more personal if you would like.
- Send an honest compliment
- Make a reference to something the previous mentioned
- Let them know that you are thinking about them
- Use a “cliffhanger” text
- Send a gif, meme or emoji
- Use a “teasing” text
- Use a light and casual text
What is a good way to start a conversation?
How you start a conversation will be dependent upon where you are when you first meet. Are you at a friend’s house or out at an event?
Try to take into account your surroundings and make an observation to help you ask a relevant question.
-When your at a bar, notice any interesting drinks that you can talk about
-If you are watching live music, you can ask them about other venues or bands that you enjoy
-When at a work event, you can ask about some of their recent changes that the company has made.
Some examples of good conversation starters when you are at an event would be to
-Ask about the host
-Talk about a past or recent experience while at this or a similar event
-Always remember a detail that they may have mentioned so that you can follow up by asking another question.
If you see someone that catches your eye while you are out and about, make a point to ask about a nearby coffee shop or restaurant that they may recommend.
You can always act like a tourist!
There are very few places that you couldn’t find a question that could easily break the ice.
One exception could be the gym. Other than if you are taking a class together it is a tough place to start a conversation when most just want to be in their own little world.
How do you start a conversation with your crush?
Show interest in him or her first by using body language.
- Move closer,
- Make eye contact
- Hold for a few seconds,
- Smile and then look away
- Look back again and hold a few seconds
This will give the person a clear signal of intention. By doing this the person will know that you are open to them approaching or talking further.
Always search for something in common to use as a jumping off point.
How do I start small talk?
Small talk starts by validating what another person is thinking or feeling. Acknowledging what someone has mentioned, (other than a nod or saying “yeah”) opens up the conversation.
You can add the reason “why” you agree or tell a relevant story. Whenever someone knows that you are on the same page, then people will open up.”
According to an ex FBI agent, even if you disagree with them, do it with nuance.” You agree and add something — but then affirm your own thoughts or convictions on the matter.” This shows them that you are listening and “ for the sake of harmony, it’s wise to agree, add and affirm.”
If you want to be an amazing communicator, learn more about human interaction and non verbal body language with this, or this book. These books are by Joe Navarro a human behavior expert, best selling author and ex FBI agent.
How do you start a conversation naturally?
Always start with curiosity! The best conversations come from being observant and curious.
Most situations allow for you to make an observation or ask a question to get the ball rolling.
Ways to end a conversation and reconnect
When you feel that the conversation is coming to its natural end it’s best to let it end. If you would like to offer a way to get together again, then use some of these simple ideas.
-Let them know that you enjoyed talking with them, (add a detail of why) and that you would like to do it again
-What you offer will depend on what they mentioned in the conversation. If they mentioned enjoying a certain food or drink, ask if they would like to meet up at someplace that you know has that option.
-If they mentioned an upcoming event, let them know if you will be attending and that you hope to see them there
-Ask for their contact information or social media info to be able to talk before the next meetup
-Be warm, smile and end on a happy, pleasant note
Conclusion how to start a conversation
When you are wondering how to start a conversation, keep our tips handy. It’s easy to overthink these things and add pressure on yourself for no reason.
With a little bit of practice you will be able to easily talk to people around you. Being able to effectively communicate is one of the most important things that you can learn.
It is imperative for successful relationships in both your personal life and for success in your career.