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13 First Date Conversation Starters + What Not to Say on a First Date

Our first date conversation starters help to take some of the “what do I say now?” anxiousness out of your first date.   

 

We always want to make a good impression so our conversation topics and tips will help you do just that!

 

First date tips to make a good impression

 

First dates can be a bit intimidating and most of us feel a little nervous or anxious about it. Its new and we put unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

 

Keeping our mind from overthinking is the biggest challenge.

 

 The reality is that we don’t know if we will like them. So we should go into it thinking that it’s just an introduction and then take it from there. Some tips to keep in mind!

 

  1. This is just an introduction, don’t overthink it!
  2. If you are nervous, you can just be honest, chances they are also
  3. Be pleasant and show that you are happy to meet them. A little smile goes a long way!
  4. Use our first date conversation starters
  5. Keep it light (plenty of time for more depth later)
  6. Don’t tell them your life’s story (everyone loves a little bit of mystery)
  7. Be curious (that is why you are there, after all!)
  8. Be yourself 

 

Basically the goal is to let the conversation be as natural as possible, verses an interrogation or therapy session.

 

First date conversation starters

 

Have you always been from here?

 

This is a starter question to find out whether they are local or a transplant. An easy question that will set the direction of some further questions about their childhood and what they enjoyed about growing up.

 

What is your favorite hobby?

 

Maybe they love to play or watch sports. Do you enjoy being active and outdoors or would you rather play video games. These are all the things that give you a lot of insight into their personality. 

 

This is especially insightful because you will find out how they like to spend their down time. This will tell you if you have some common hobby interests. 

 

Do you enjoy traveling?

 

This tells you so much about someone. Are they adventurous? People that travel tend to have a broader perspective about others. Being exposed to unique experiences changes them and their way of thinking. 

 

This is also an easy way to find out if they are workaholics or enjoy things that don’t involve that much travel. This is good to know if you would like a partner that has a similar wanderlust or is more of a homebody.

 

first date conversation starters quotes photo

 

Have you watched any good series lately?

 

There are so many great shows to choose from on Netflix, HBO, Amazon etc. 

 

Finding out what they have enjoyed is a light and easy first date conversation topic. Plus who doesn’t love to get into the details of the shows or movies that they really have enjoyed.

 

What is something that is on your bucket list?

 

This is fun you should be able to list some of your bucket list items also! Things to do, places to visit, the things that you have to do before you kick the bucket.

 

Tell me something that drives you crazy?

 

OK, this is little question can get you some responses that will be very telling! This could be funny and you will learn some of their pet peeves. We all have both rational and irrational ones too!

 

What are you afraid of?

 

Spiders, close spaces, ghosts, haunted houses. We all get fearful and queasy about something, so we might as well talk about what some of those things are and probably laugh at them too!

 

More first date conversation starters

 

What made you choose this profession?

 

This question will encompass the conversation topics of what they love and hate about their own career. This can transition into any entrepreneurial and business interests and perhaps long term career goals.

This can tell you where they see themselves in the future.

 

What would you do if you won the lottery?

 

This question will tell you what they would do if money were no option. What house would they live in? What country?

How would they spend their time? Its fun to see what someones dreams would be if they could remove at least financial obstacles.

 

What are some of your favorite restaurants?

 

Maybe they like Indian food the best or McDonald’s is the place of choice. These are things to know. Most people are passionate about their favorite foods and love to share their finds with others.

Food is an easy first date conversation topic that everyone loves to talk about.

 

Do you like to cook?

 

This is a great partner topic to their favorite restaurants. Many people have their specialties, so it would be fun to talk about what they like to make at home.

 You can also learn about their nationality and if there are any family recipes that they like to cook. 

 

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

 

An easy way to ease into the family topic! You can find out if they are close to their family and if they live nearby.

 

Find out If their parents have a great marriage or if they are divorced and have step parents. How they talk about their mom and dad can be very telling about those complicated relationships.

 

Have you seen any good concerts lately?

 

Find out what types of music that they like and if they like going to concerts. Music can be so personal and its always nice when you meet someone that has similar tastes. Plus is someone only listens to Country and you are a die hard lover of Rap, you may have some problems! 😊

 

what not to say and do on a first date photo

 

What not to say on a first date

 

Listing your deal breakers immediately

 

We all have deal breakers, but they are usually not completely black and white. If you list your deal breakers before you have any context, you will not find out the reasons or nuances for their beliefs.

 

While I believe that context is very important, some things can be more black and while. If a deal breaker is being a non smoker and they smoke sometimes, you will need to be OK with them smoking within boundaries or its a no-go. 

 

Wanting to have children or religious beliefs can be deal breakers that you should find out about fairly early on.

 

Put people into a box with politics

 

Many people cross lines and parties with their beliefs, so you may want to listen before crossing them off the list. 

 

This is a topic that can easily get out of hand so you may want to get to know them more before tackling this discussion in depth.

 

 With that being said, if it is brought up and you are the complete opposite, then it’s better to know early.

 

Stick to the facts of previous relationships

 

Questions about previous relationships will probably be brought up, but this is not the time to talk in depth about those relationships. Do not get negative or dive into details. 

 

Stick to the facts in the beginning because any anger, resentment or jealousy will be easily seen. As mentioned before, if there is no context it’s hard to be able to understand the whole story.

 

What not to do on a first date

 

Don’t Complain

 

Complaining should be avoided in your first date conversation. This goes hand in hand with the tip below, to not be negative. Life happens and irritations occur so make sure that you deal with those things in a positive way. This trait is very attractive and healthy in any relationship.

 

Do not be negative

 

Do not be negative about yourself or anyone else. When you don’t know someone well, you will not know how to take their negative comments. Negativity can come off as angry, bitchy and unreasonable, so make sure you keep it positive. 

 

Do not be Needy

 

This is similar to the above tip. Don’t be negative about yourself, it looks like you are fishing for compliments which shows that you are looking for self worth from someone else. Don’t be too anxious to be with this person and impress them, they have not earned your respect yet. Neediness is not an attractive quality, so make sure to steer clear!

 

You are deciding if they are worth your time, so don’t invest more into them if they have not earned it yet

 

Be rude or thoughtless to people

 

Never allow anyone to be rude or thoughtless with those around them. There are enough thoughtless and rude people around us. There is no reason to bring that into your world on purpose.

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Conclusion First Date Conversation Starters

 

 Meeting new people isn’t easy for everyone, but with a little change in the way that you think about it, you will be just fine. Just as in networking, think of this meeting as a new connection

 

 That doesn’t necessarily mean that it will be a love connection, but it could be a connection for a friend or for your career.

 

You are just assessing if there is enough interest to learn more about them. 

 

That is why having some go-to first date conversation starters ready is important and makes things a little easier. If you listen to our first date tips, you are certain to  have the conversations flow more easily.

 

Pay attention if your date is as inquisitive as you are. If they aren’t asking many questions or their body language is closed off and not “leaning in,” these are signs that they are not interested.

Visit Does he like me or not? 15 Undeniable signs

 

First Date Tips and Advice

More Conversation Starters

First Date Ideas (All your first date questions answered)

73 First Date Questions that lead to insightful conversations

First Date Do’s and Don’ts

 

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